One of the best things about the season so far was that we hadn’t seen any of the people who are just there to get on TV. You know, the ones who are too old for the competition, but show up anyway with some shtick. It was great to see the actual talent for a change.
But tonight, “Idol” turned the show completely over to the freaks. It was cute for a while, but by the last guy—who the show clearly thought would be someone we would all want to talk about—it was just annoying…
The show started off with such promise as we got a montage of some of the previous talent we have seen. We saw Brett Loewenstern (“Bohemian Rhapsody”), Lauren Alaina (“Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”) and Casey Abrams (“I Don’t Need No Doctor”)—three people I think we will see much more of. AND Ryan FINALLY said “THIS is ‘American Idol’.” But then it all went downhill from there…
Victoria Garrett, 21, kicked things off by telling us that God brought the auditions to LA. After her rendition of “Precious Lamb of God,” Steven said, “You’re going to…Siberia!” and then told her she was “baa-ad.” I’m sure the #Tylerisms Twitter feed was lighting up…
Tim Halperin, 23, did a great edit of “She Will Be Loved.” Randy said no, but Steven and JLo put him through…We didn’t even find out whether Justin Carter, 27, went through or not after JLo said he lacked the bleep underneath him. My guess is no…
Friends Daniel Gomez, 18, and Isaac Rodriguez, 18, were next. Isaac had dropped out of college to be the next Idol, but he hadn’t told his mom yet. Ryan tried to keep a straight face as she proudly told him Isaac was attending college. I certainly hope he’s told her by now. No surprise that Daniel’s rendition of “I’ll Be” was bad, but I thought that Isaac would be able to sing. I was wrong. Steven said about his “Build Me Up Buttercup,” “You set the song on fire, but in the wrong way.” Daniel and Isaac promised to keep trying and sang a duet of “When You Believe” for the cameras to prove it…
Finally, we got a real voice when one of the 16,000 people who auditioned via MySpace came in—21-year-old Karen Rodriguez. I thought her version of “You Give Good Love” was excellent…
Tynisha Roches…not so much. The 25-year-old came in with her own microphone to do a tribute to Frank Sinatra, telling the judges she already had three albums that “are ready to be composed.” She did provide a funny moment when Randy left the table and she followed him around the back of the set. Randy tried to turn her off by taking the microphone. As I suspected, Randy’s next move was to call for Security who got her to leave. As usual, Steven Tyler had the best way to sum it up: “Can you imagine you’re asleep tonight and you open your eyes and she’s two inches away from you singing?”…
Steven and Randy were completely spellbound by Heidi Khzan, who demonstrated her belly dancing for the panel, complete with Steven providing the soundtrack. Steven did eventually ask her to sing and she did a decent version of “Superwoman.” But Randy and Steven had already decided to send her to Hollywood…Matt “Big Stats” Frankel, 27, was so deluded he actually attempted “Jenny From the Block.” But Matt was more annoying than funny…
William Roberts, 24, sang something I didn’t recognize, which prompted Steven to say, “I hear your voice, but I don’t think you’re ready for 2011, 2012, or 2013 ‘American Idol’”…
More bad auditions from Jeanette Manning, Daniel Hall, Anthony Granger and Arista Pemberton, although Arista was a pretty good dancer…
Finally, some decent voices entered the room in the form of the Gutierrez brothers, Mark, 28, and Aaron, 27. They did a blazing duet of “Lean On Me” that got them through, but I’m curious what they sound like apart…
The final contestant of the night was 59-year-old Cooper Robinson, who danced around “singing” “I Feel Good.” He told the panel he was from a dangerous place in the backwoods of Arkansas where you had to be careful of snakes. After his “dancing” display, Steven said, “You ain’t never gonna get bit by a snake.” When he stared down the judges and asked, “How you like me?” he was met by complete silence and told the panel goodbye. Ryan ran in and said “What the h—l?” and JLo snuck out to avoid him. It was a pretty bummer ending…Next week, we head to San Francisco and we get our first glimpse of Hollywood Week. And after tonight, Hollywood can’t come fast enough…
What did you guys think? Were you as bummed about the nonsense as I was?
Photo Credit: Michael Becker/FOX
